My Super Boring Blog About Games I Play!: Drooling for Phantasy.

**NOTE: These words were written by me over a decade ago and I never published them, so enjoy this half baked nonsense!**

Full Disclosure: LOADED WITH PIX.

Phantasy Star. Released in 1987 as a full and complete Role-Playing Game. How often does that happen? ALL THE CUSSING TIME. How often does that happen in a good way? A bit less common. Some might even call it a rare sight. Basically, you should be thanking me for sharing a game worth playing instead of something generic like CALL OF DOOTIE 19 EXCLAMATION POINT, MOAR WUB WUB GUNZ: DUBSTEP EDITION!

However, I find myself filled with questions. Seriously, why do people still pretend like those games are amazing. I'll admit to them being fun, but they aren't the most fun games in the world. I just don't understand the obsession.

Although, I digress, so enough about that, back to Phantasy Star, and all the weird cuss I've noticed. I feel pressured to mention one of my favourite things about this game. Before anyone even continues to read, know that the protagonist of this game is a kick arse GIRL. I think that's awesome as cuss. I mean, a female lead that isn't objectified in a video game released in 1987!? Sign me up!

No, this is NOT a walkthrough of the game. This isn't a review. This is the sharing of my playthrough of the game; Just random tidbits of information.

To end the introduction; without further ado, Phantasy Star on the Sega Master System!
_________________________________________________________________________________Aalright, let's do this. Your home is totally useless. I'm not kidding, being funny, or trying to make you laugh. Seriously. It's just an empty house with windows. In fact, when you've been beat up, and you need to get the hp's back up, you go to some random blonde woman's house and she's all "SLEEP ON MY FLOOR" and then you get your hp's. You're probably thinking something like "well Fox, where the heck does she live compared to you? I bet you can still heal at your house, just it's less convenient.' WRONG. She actually lives south of you, less than a three second walk, in fact. from here on out, there will be many photos. Many. I mean that with all I've got:

See? Completely barren. That's all you can do.

So, first, the guy that gives you something that belonged to your now passed brother. A pot. A mother cussing POT. I get it, times are rough, and it's a valuable pot, but that doesn't change the fact that you just gave me a pot and then claimed you assisted me, and you wish you could help some more. GIVE ME MONIES OR SOMETHING. Literally, anything but a pot would have worked. Could have put the money in the pot. What is actually going on here: Nero (Alis' older brother that was murdered) gave this guy a stupid pot, then Nero died and the guy was all "I'll give it to his little sister so I don't have to deal with the crappy pot. Yeah, thanks buddy.

Thank you, for the stupid pot.

You don't see the big deal? How about the fact that there's this whole debacle with the random blond lady and her home looming ominously over the horizon.
Seriously. Look at this. She offers me a place to rest. Oh yeah, that's awfully swell and nice of her. Right? But like I told you before, she lives a short walk from me. And even if she didn't, it's not like she has more furniture in her home than I do. I get it, my house is completely barren, but so is hers. And she's always home, meaning there's an extra person there, who is probably also sleeping when I am, taking up space on the floor. At one point, there's four people crowding into her house.

Her home.

My house. The cuss?

Sure, why not? I could use a nap.

But, wait a minute, I don't see a bed. DID I
JUST SLEEP ON YOUR FLOOR? WHAT!?

"Thank you Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome Lieutenant Sarcasm!"

Tell me something, please. Information that could save the world. Hmm, uh huh, what's that? You mean to tell me that the Magically Locked door can only be Magically Unlocked? YOU DON'T SAY? Thank you Sarah Russell. You have helped make me a better, more intelligent person. I can't wait to apply this new found knowledge in the real world. This will be great.

My pet cat! ... ahem, I mean combat companion.

Also, geewillikersbatman! A talking cat that has a bottle on it's neck that cures people who are turned to stone by Medusa. What are the odds that this would happen? Apparently, everything in this game is a huge coincidence. Everything. Even playing as a girl.
Really, though, I must say with all jest aside, I've really enjoyed playing this game, all the weird zany logic aside. Can't wait to play the next three games in the main series, even if I don't end up writing full length articles on them. Thanks for reading, it means a lot to me to know you've stomached the entire article. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have. If you haven't do so already, download the game and an emulator, or go out and purchase yourself a Master System and the game, and just play it. That's all for now, till next time!
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Screenshots and Captions from here on out:

SPACE: IT'S COOL AS CUSS!

No. I don't want to open the treasure box. OF COURSE I DO!

Kitty!!!

^---This is Odin.

Seriously, this console was made to compete with
the NES, how did it lose, ever?

Also, that lady is about to let Odin, the cat, and myself into her home so we can just sleep on her floor because we are tired. Might I add, that we run cuss and just walk into everyone's house because nobody locks their doors. The king must really hate us.

LOOK

CRAZY-WATER-EFFECTS

This guy ruined my day.

This guy advocates the killing of his king. I should snitch on him.

Leading to me having to visit the church to get resurrected by queer chanting. FML.

Dead ends are pretty infuriating. I recommend avoiding them entirely.

The level of detail that was graced by the artist in this game will forever impress me. It's so nice, and I really like the look of this town. It's a place I'd realistic wa

nt to visit if I lived nearby.

Watching this guy attack you is one of the coolest things ever. I AM IN LOVE.

I traded that stupid hard as heck pot for a cat, and then he sold it. Take that brother, I just did not give a cuss about your stupid pot. Worst bequeathed gift ever.